Out-everythinged

September 24, 2019

Where do the Redskins possibly go from here? Don’t even talk to me about their useless 15 points. They were utterly outcoached and outplayed by the Chicago Bears last night.

Look, Chicago has a really good defense, and so prior to the Skins’ first drive, I sadly already predicted a Pick-Six. It happened. Of course it happened. Worse, it was former Redskin and child of a family taking Key and Peele way too seriously, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.

Literally the only bright spot was WR Terry McLaurin, who once again caught a lot of passes and scored a TD. Whenever someone says you’re the first player ever in the NFL to do something (at least 5 catches and a TD in each of his first 3 games), that’s probably a good thing.

Hold up. This might also be a first for the NFL, and it is NOT a good thing. Check out Vernon Davis’s mighty hurdling skills. Or maybe he was going for the karate kick.

But seriously. I can’t even bust Case Keenum’s chops too much, and that’s on a day after he threw 3 picks (one for the aforementioned six) and had 2 lost fumbles, including that horrible idea of a QB dive that sealed the game. (He had another fumble he was able to recover, so really it was 3 INTs and 3 FUMs. Not the best QB effort.)

Even with all that, the worst performance award goes to the defense. The pass rush was anemic again, and watching the secondary, it looked like they were covering each other, not the Bears’ wideouts. (There were a number of plays when several Redskins DBs would be bunched up, leaving Bears receivers wide open. If it wasn’t so inept and frustrating, it would actually be comical. I guess for the Bears, it was.)

So what now? Fire the defensive coordinator? Fire the coach? Empty out Ashburn and FedEx and lock the doors?

Nah, what’s the point? The team is so incompetent, they can’t even spell a player’s name right WHILE THEY ARE INDUCTING HIM INTO THEIR RING OF FAME.

I say we just sit back and watch the dumpster fire burn. Besides, once it starts to get cold out, we can roast marshmallows.